About lazyliteratus

Posts by lazyliteratus:

A Tea Blogger in Vendorland

Posted on September 10, 2015 with 13 Comments
in B of B Original Posts
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Back in 2008, I started writing about tea. Not exactly professionally, but rather as a hobby. I started out as many a tea person with a ‘puter did. I wrote reviews. Originally, I contributed to a review site, and then I went on my own with Steep Stories in 2011. Around the same time, I figured, “Hey, I’m tea knowledgeable-ish enough, now. I should apply for a tea job!”

 

And I did so, figuring I would be a shoe-in.

I am job!

I was wrong.

 

The first two outfits I applied for didn’t even grant me the courtesy of a rejection letter. And those who knew who I was – either through my blog or through my visits – had a million reasons to not bring me on board. The most common rejection I heard was, “Well, you’re too talented a writer. This job is beneath you.”

 

For the record, I clean toilets for a living. Nothing is beneath me. Not even the piping.

 

I swallowed my pride, whimpered a little privately, but continued doing what I normally did. Writing about tea . . . and not getting paid for it. A year or so went by, and one of the companies I applied for posted a job inquiry again.

 

This time it was for a delivery driver – two days a week. At the time, I was mostly driving shuttles at my, then, job. Running boxes to clients all around Portland, and not saying a word? Surely, I was a shoe-in for that.

deilvery boy

NOPE . . . again.

 

The reason this time? “You’re too close of a friend to the teashop.”

 

Huh?

 

That was the first time I was ever friendzoned by a tea company. It felt weird.

 

A couple of more years went by. In that time, major things happened. Like, professional-type things! I was on various panels at tea festivals. I did guest-blogs for other vendors. I had written SEO copy for other companies – both tea-related and non-tea-related. Heck, I even helped curate a menu for a new tea bar.

 

One day this summer, I brought a charming lady friend of mine to one of my favorite tea shops. We met the owners, and a few of the other employees. They recognized her from a resume she had sent them. Then . . . proceeded to bend over backwards to try and hire her. What do you call it when a teashop interrupts your tea date? Being teablocked? Yeah, I was teablocked by a teashop. Super-awkward.

 

A couple of scant, heat-waved months after that, one of my other favorite places posted a job opening. And I matched every qualification, save one. Something to do with Photoshop. (I’m still at MS Paint levels, yo.) Before leaving on a trip, I submitted my resume.

 

I didn’t get a reply back for well over a week. The reason THIS time? “You’re such a talented writer, we wouldn’t feel comfortable making you push papers around.”

 

Refer back to my earlier statement about toilets. Add toilet paper to that. Nothing is beneath me!

 

nothing beneath me

 

Even now, after seven years as a tea writer and quasi-professional, I’m still on some sort of black list with tea companies. (Black tea list?) Sure, vendors love me writing about them, and adore getting my advice for free. But if I *LE GASP!* actually applied for a job with one of these fine brands, all of a sudden I’m looked upon as a pariah. Like I’ve stepped over some invisible threshold I shan’t cross.

 

What makes it further aggravating is that I know fellow tea blogger compatriots who have received job offers within the tea industry. Full-time ones. Lucrative, in some cases. Granted, some of these folks are more socially acceptable, charming, and Google Analytically popular than I am. But I’m still cut from the same tea-stained cloth as they are.

 

So, tea vendors . . .

 

I love you all. You know I do. There are no hard feelings – honest. I just want a straight answer for once.

 

What exactly is wrong with me? What do I need to do to be recognized? What do I need to become in order to be considered a serious candidate?

tea girl

Touché, tea industry . . . touché.

When the Smoke Clears: Rita, the Rebel Bride of the Recovery Room

Posted on March 17, 2015 with 7 Comments
in B of B Original Posts

So, Robert “The Devotea” Godden issued a challenge – specifically to his fellow Beasts of Brewdom, and to the male communi-tea in general. He asked others to challenge us to write a blog post with a title chosen from the Mills and Boon romance novel catalog. Naturally, I took up the challenge. Heck, I even […]

“Lapdance Souchong” – The Changing Face of Lapsang Souchong, Part 3

Posted on February 17, 2014 with 10 Comments
in B of B Original Posts
as , , , , , , , , ,

This is the final installment of The Changing Faces of Lapsang Souchong trilogy. For Part 1, go HERE. For Part 2, go Here. Warning: This installment is not going to be anywhere near as sophisticated or educational as the last two…which is why it’s on the Beasts of Brewdom page. The Changing Face of Lapsang […]

“The Souchong Strikes Back” – The Teabeer Trilogy, Book 2

Posted on October 25, 2013 with 11 Comments
in B of B Original Posts, Tea stories
as , , , , , ,

For BOOK 1 of The Teabeer Trilogy, go HERE. Not too long ago in a public house relatively nearby… It began with an e-mail. I’m not even sure how I got on their list, but The Green Dragon sent me an e-mail at the beginning of the month about some of their Fall events. Part […]

Tea Like Leather

Posted on November 22, 2011 with 16 Comments
in B of B Original Posts
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It’ll probably help to picture the voice of Sam Elliott narrating this as one reads further. I found that to be the quickest way to get through it. Of course, I picture Sam Elliott narrating everything I write. Because…well…he’s Sam F**king Elliott. Anyway, let’s begin. The rain was falling pretty hard; the chill in the […]

Fortune and the Goddess

Posted on October 27, 2011 with 10 Comments
in Tea stories

This week I was accused of writing soft-core tea porn. Last I check, I had no soft-core tea porn in my repertoire. If I’m going to be accused of something, it damn well better be true. So…here’s some soft-core tea porn to make it true. He was a Scotsman and a botanist. Strange occurrences followed […]

Smoked Assam-ness

Posted on October 19, 2011 with 6 Comments
in B of B Original Posts

It may come as a shock to some people, but there actually is more to Stash Tea than the 20 ct. boxes one finds at the supermarket. One look at the website will provide evidence of this. They actually possess one of the most extensive specialty tea lines I’ve come across. That and their single […]

The Sex Tea Saga

Posted on September 15, 2011 (Comments Closed)
in B of B Original Posts

Most people turn to tea because of health reasons, caffeine concerns, memories of their grandparents, or some other wholesome reason. Mine began because of sex. Here’s the story (i.e. click on the highly suggestive root):

New post about the MANLIEST white tea in existence!

Posted on August 4, 2011 with 2 Comments
in General

GO LOOKY! Like, NOW! http://lazyliteratus.teatra.de/2011/08/04/awesome-assam-is-awesome/