Another beast lurks

Many of us on Twitter know Vic Darkwood, the possibly pseudonymic chap who was an early promulgant of The Chap magazine. Whilst he’s not a Beast of Brewdom, he is often referred to as The Beast of Dartmouth Park, and so rates a mention.

I am currently reading Vic’s book “How to Make Friends and Oppress People – Classic Travel Advice for The Gentleman Advernturer”

It has some astonishingly poor advice on making tea – reprinted from Francis Galton’s The Art of Travel (1872) which seems to recommend,  of all things, an eight-minute infusion.

However, such foolishness is not what has driven this entry.

In his own words, Mr Darkwood has described the humble teapot thus:

“Mother Nature, despite some notable design classics such as the banana, the three-banded armadillo and the young Jean Shrimpton, has yet to come up with a form as compellingly beautiful and ergonomically sleek as the teapot. The rotundity of its body – pregnant with promise, the pleasing arabesque of the spout and the jaunty effeminacy of the handle earn it a special place in the British psyche.”

An exceptional description, I think.




  1. I have never thought of a teapot as such, but agreed he has a way with words.

  2. Mr Darkwood and I aren’t acquainted although I know of him through you. I looked at his artwork online the other day. What an astounding mind must be driving his talent.
    Anyway, not familiar with Jean and her similarities to a banana, I did a little research, and discovered amongst other attributes all three sport an A in them. Armadillo in first place, banana in second, Jean third. It’s amazing what one learns on a somewhat dreary morning.
    The description of the teapot is beautiful in its sensuality. I think of mine in more platonic terms, but perhaps that’s due to my gender. Mine seem more the Aunt Agatha types, though there several flamboyant friends among them, and their sexuality is quite undefined.

    I hope Vic gives you a wonderful tour of London when you visit. He’s not likely to just trek around Big Ben.


  3. At first read, I thought to myself, “What an incredibly cool name that is…” Vic Darkwood – of course, as you alluded too is a pen name. No man alive would be graced with such clever and herioc sounding moniker. No parent has that much foresight when cuddling soft little junior upon his excursion from the womb.

    And then I saw, that Vic Darkwood is the pen name for Nicholas Jolly. Hmm, highly suspicious, another cool name for a man, but one who has examined his teapot with such regard that he is prepared to describe with such detail that has not been seen before. A level of imagination and creativity abounds in this one, I say.

    How can one man have two incredible names? Does he, or did his parents, have an infatuation with a rotund man dressed in red, trimmed in white, filled with promise and jauntiness while smoking an arabesque pipe?

    Mystery abounds abounds with Vic Darkwood/Nick Jolly, possessor of impressive names…