Page 2 of the The Ravings of The Beasts archive.

Stupid is as Government does.

Posted by Robert Godden on March 7, 2013 with 7 Comments

I have accidentally come across a plan to grow green tea in Western Australia. There’s a paper on in, presumably done by an agricultural scientist. This particular scientist could not find this own backside with both hands. Here’s the first sentence: The tea plant belongs to the Theaceae family and is closely related to the ornamental species ofCamellia (japonica, reticulata and sasanqua). The leaves are […]

Keeping abreast of tea

Posted by Robert Godden on February 3, 2013 with 13 Comments

Beasts of Brewdom is a blog for MEN, and what do things aimed at men have one them? Breasts, that’s what. Advertisers and marketers would have you believe that men like to admire breasts so much that we can’t live without them plastered across our sites. Of course, there are certain stipulations: They must be female – Vladimir Putin may wish […]

A thoughtful, considered post…

Posted by Robert Godden on January 8, 2013 with 7 Comments

…will no doubt turn up on The Devotea’s Tea Spouts in a day or so, but for now, consider this: Once again, two Beasts of Brewdom will occupy the same room. Yes, The Devotea and The Lazy Literatus , in Las Vegas, this June. Isn’t that just the best news? Can Vegas cope? Can America Cope? Can […]

The End Of The World As We Brew It…(updated)

Posted by Robert Godden on December 24, 2012 with 4 Comments

With all that Mayan Calendar new age hippy stone cold bonkers twaddle we’ve had to put up with in the last few days, we got to thinking: What do the Beasts of Brewdom drink when the world is ending? And here’s the answers THE DEVOTEA: I made myself about a gallon of Temi Estate Sikkim […]

Real men shoot guns with their tea.

Posted by on December 6, 2012 with 2 Comments

  There’s a mildly patronizing discussion amongst some tea businesses right now about how to attract more MEN to drink our tea. Contrary to the evidence (most of my customers are guys), it seems that many MEN are too concerned with MANLY activities like spitting and punching walls to take time out and enjoy a […]

Guess the Tea

Posted by Robert Godden on July 22, 2012 with 4 Comments

Here’s a small part of a chapter from THE HEART OF TEA. Can you guess the tea that is under discussion? You can make this tea up quickly with very hot water, or slowly at a lower temperature, You can cold brew it and ice it. You can slightly sugar it and use it to trap people who claim […]

{ahem} Women’s Problems

Posted by Robert Godden on May 4, 2012 with 7 Comments

As Beasts of Brewdom, we take manliness very seriously, and one of the standard tenets of masculinity over the aeons is to refuse to have anything to with any discussion whatsoever of <ahem> Women’s Problems. Except of course, for the incredible usefulness in jokes. For example., I heard on the radio the other day this gem “If women ran the world, there would […]

Creeping Like an Effing Squirrel?

Posted by Robert Godden on March 13, 2012 with 1 Comment

Here’s a quote about WINE – or old stale grape juice as I usually call it. “A wine must be as clear as the tears of a penitent… When drunk, it should descend impetuously like thunder, sweet-tasted as an almond, creeping like a squirrel, leaping like a roebuck, strong like the building of a Cistercian […]

This is what they put into tea bags

Posted by Robert Godden on February 8, 2012 with 12 Comments

This is a salutory lesson about the evils of teabags. It starts here: And gets worse: And these guys aren’t finished: Yet more indignity: And this guy could almost be a Beast of Brewdom, if he moved to loose leaf. (Thanks to @Jackie for pointing these out)

Patrol Car 17? There’s a 712 in progress at 3300 Las Vegas Boulevard…

Posted by Robert Godden on January 22, 2012 with 8 Comments

  A totally fictitious rookie cop turns to his older, wiser. non-politically-correct, badly-dressed, marriage-falling-apart, nearly-gets-suspended-every-episode-but-was-right-all-along partner. “A 712? What’s that, Malone?”   The older, wiser and so on partner throws his doughnut – which he can’t spell, being American – out of the car window, engages the sirens, and slams the patrol car into gear, taking off with an impressively illegal burnout to add […]